Ya that's what my 4 year old told my hubby over dinner last night.
I almost choked. I had no idea what he was talking about. I couldn't think of anything horrible i'd done that day.
I asked him what he was talking about.
He said, "We had to clean the playroom FOREVER and mommy kept yelling at us".
nice.
my first reaction...
denial- "I didn't yell at you",
followed by...
resentment- "I didn't make the bad choice, you and olivia made a bad choice by not listening to me and by fighting and hitting each other"
and then at about 11pm.
heartbreak- i suck. + tears.
Truth-
i'm running on very little sleep and feel completely miserable. I don't really have the energy or patience to properly discipline my kids or even give them enough attention. What was I thinking adding another child into this family? I felt these same feelings just before i had Olivia too. Is it all part of the experience? Once there's no possible way to make a mom feel physically worse she needs to feel mentally and emotionally drained too? peachy.
On a lighter note... kolby left with his uncle for a father-son campout. I told him how much i'd miss him and he smiled so huge and said, "ya! I'll miss you!" as if all he needed was to hear that from me and all was forgiven.
Olivia and I got to spend some quality one on one time eating at chic-fil-a and watching The Princess and the Frog. She said, "That was fun. I like that movie! I miss Kolby. I'm tired now. I love you."
I suppose all is not lost afterall. Just needed to chill for a second to realize that everything's gonna work out. Its true, my house will never be clean and my kids will always fight. But I will always love my crazy kids and I hope they will always love me. Somewhere between all my bad mommy choices lately I must have made some good ones too.
5 comments:
don't kid yourself. you aren't perfect, you are doing great and you are the best mom in the world to them.
ps: and for crying out loud your little boy was able to recognize that you were making a bad choice. that should give you a great sense of accomplishment! don't be too hard on yourself, like I said before - you are doing awesome
Hang in there! It all sounds normal to me. I think you're doing great and you'll do great with a 3rd child as well!
I think you've probably made A LOT of good choices. I'm so sorry you're so drained, but you'll get through this. :)
You are a great mama! We all have those days where we feel we failed in the mom-department. I certainly had one yesterday, Ellie was so awful! At least you have pregnancy as an excuse!
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