benign....

my new favorite word thanks for all the thoughts and prayers! my dad is recovering and will have surgery on his colon in a few weeks. Read this today: "...L'Chiam meant that no matter what difficulty life brings, no matter how hard or how painful or how unfair life is, life is holy and worthy of celebration". -My Grandfather's Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

Rounding the Wagons

Its easier for me to write this than to hear it said aloud so I apologize if this suprises a few of you or seems too personal. I'm sorry if you didn't hear it from me in person first but really its hard for me to talk about. I debated whether or not to make this part of my life public. But since this blog is really my journal and most of you reading are such dear friends I decided to let it all come out. A few years ago my dad found out he had Prostate cancer. My siblings and I decided to all fly home for a weekend and support my dad. A friend of my mom's told us that we were "rounding the wagons". As the pioneers traveled west whenever danger arose the families would "round the wagons" to create a circle of safety and support. This weekend I feel that it may be time to round the wagons again. My dad will find out today if the likely cancer found in his colon has spread to his lungs. Ever since the word cancer entered our family's vocabulary I always convinced myself that I would not let my mind to think of the worst or to cry over things that may never happen. Somehow I tricked myself into thinking that only when death was certain would I allow myself to truly grieve. I have filled my life with distractions and kept most of my emotions locked inside for fear of not being able to retrieve them once I let go. I called my dad on Father's Day only to catch my breath as i heard him cry for possibly the 2nd time in his life. All of a sudden I felt so helpless. I had no idea what to say to my dad. Through my sobs all i could say was, "I'm sorry that you're sad". This past week I think I've cried a little each day. Mostly I cry for sympathy for my dad. I feel horrible that he has to go through all of this. I felt so aweful on Sunday that Daniel and I decided that the only thing we could think of that might offer some comfort to my dad would be to bring two little things that I'm most proud of in my life, my kids. Sunday we head off for the 35 hour drive to celebrate or comfort the news from today's surgery. When I told Kolby that papa was sick he looked at me with confidence and said, "I will pray for him and then he can get better". Today we pray and fast and just wait. I felt strongly in the temple yesterday that no matter the outcome , just as the pioneers declared, "all is well".

Girls camp was so fun and the perfect distraction for me right now. I had so many flashbacks to our good ol' YCL days :) These girls were freak'n hillarious and I feel so blessed to be able to work with these adorable beehives!

Even more amazing than our hair dos is that Daniel not only watched the kids while i was gone, he took them to the library, tried a new recipie, invited family over for dinner, set up a playdate for kolby, took them to chukycheese, folded laundry, and learned how to fix olivia's hair in pigtails! Be jealous...very jealous!

Blabber mouth

And now for the father of my children... Happy Father's Day babe!

You are such a great dad. I love how the kids squeal everytime you walk through the door! The first time i saw you playing with your neices and nephew i fell in love. You really are the best!

Here's a pic of the "cards" the kiddos made for Daniel. And for his present? You should really ask kolby or should i say blabber mouth.

We bought an Ipod shuffle on Thursday and i made kolby swear not to tell. As soon as we got home kolby said, "guess what?" I quickly reminded kolby not to spoil our surprise. He nodded and said, "ya but daddy.." I said, "remember kolby don't tell him yet about our surprise he has to wait til Sunday". KOlby again nodded and quickly shouted, "but daddy we got you a radio!"

Since the secret was out Daniel has been playing with his new toy all weekend. Now i know my secrets are not safe with kolby!

I love you Daddy!

I thought perhaps this pic would make you smile today. I look up to you in so many ways. I love you for all the lessons you've taught me from how to ride a bike to how to prepare for the temple. I love you for taking time to help me with tideous things like computer problems or giving me inspiration for a talk admist your own much greater trials. I love you for teasing me and laughing when you see me get upset at a card game and for pampering me as a new mom. I look to you and am amazed at the adversity you must face all at once and know that you are one of the few strong ones to deal with it all. I love you daddy! Happy Father's Day!

Picasso and the pool

I have no tv. gulp. i know. I guess they were serious about going digi this time eh? Now i gotta get me a converter box or a nice flat screen if anyone has an extra i can take off their hands. It's also extremely hot here so we can't play outside til after 7pm. This basically leaves me with two options. No tv or watching movies we rent from the library to keep the kids entertained. Luckily today i opted for a slightly more creative activity. ( I totally stole this idea from my awesome friend jessica). Of course they mixed most of the colors to create a perfect putrid green but i promised myself whatever happened i would not intervene. Kolby actually has a little person painted in blue if you look really close and i loved how olivia's turned out very jackson pollak (ok i don't remember how to spell that). They had fun. I felt like we were finally having some quality time, and now i have something to hang on my playroom wall. Of course the best part was clean-up time when we let them run thru the sprinkler and jump in the pool. Olivia's diaper may or may not have weighed 50lbs when she got out. I sure love these guys! Ta da! can't you find the blue man? My proud painter!

Waaaalah! i figure once we get tired of it they can just paint over it again and again.

Mexico

What a trip! It started out shaky but turned out to be perfect! If you haven't been i highly recommend it, esp if you get to stay at the Aventura Spa Palace, where they treat you like royalty! I felt completely pampered and was doted on 24-7. From the pina coladas to the spa treaments to the pool side chips and guacamole I never had to lift a finger. It was heavenly! and even more heavenly was the fact that daniel and i only paid for our flights there. Thanks mom and dad and gma &gpa! And thanks to mom & dad lawton for watching the kiddos. we owe you big!

Don't get too overwhelmed i actually left out the other 500 pics:) Here's my photo journal. Enjoy!

Saturday-

*landed in Cancun, husbandless with mascara all over my face

*wished my dad a happy birthday in person!

*watched the Samba show at the resort and was humilated to stand up front and shake my bum for all to see.

Sunday-

*laid out

*venured out to XPu-Ha

still no Daniel.... at least i have my momma!

Monday-

*wished my mother happy birthday in person

*attended a water aerobics class

*had a manicure and pedicure

*found out the person in front of Daniel at the passport office was the last to recieve a passport for the day.

*spent my parents' anniversary with them at Playa del Carmen

this guy kept me company while Daniel was away

Tuesday-

*hung out at the pool and beach

*Daniel finally arrived

*went to the spa for our back massages

*saw a magic show

Wednesday-

*swam with the dophins

(and by swimming i mean giving kisses, shaking flippers, riding on his belly, having him push my feet as i flew through the water...basically the best part of the trip as far as I'm concerned. Unfortuneately we lost the $20 picture so you'll just have to take my word for it.)

*Went to Tulum

(Anicient Mayan ruins with a gorgeous beach!)

If you zoom in on our faces you can tell which one of us was a born dolphin trainer and which one is just trying to please his crazy wife.

Thursday-

*Xcaret

-snorkeled through underground rivers

-held parrots

-watched a few Mayan rituals

-melted watching a Mexican cultures dance

-pet a Ray...gross never again!

just washing my hands...

Friday-

*Chichen Itza

(one of the new 7 wonders of the world)

Simply AMAZING! almost spiritual.

the sporting arena-players try to get a ball through the ring without using their hands...the captain of the winning team was decappatated...nice.

ahh yes and the above picture brings us to Friday night and Saturday morning where Daniel and I spent alternate hours on the toilet after eating the only non-resort food of the trip. What would a trip to Mexico be without Montezuma's revenge eh?

Saturday-

*laid by the ocean eating white bread and gatorade

Sunday- * had my last fresh smoothie and pina colada *read my book by the pool *...and flew home Perhaps on a rainy day I'll post a few of the artist shots, for now hope you enjoy my cheesy side:)